In the ideal life, you fall in love, get married, have two wonderful children and live the rest of your life happy and in harmony. But as it turns out, there are many more ingredients other than love that make a marriage last.

“Happily ever after” is a wonderful and meaningful phrase that we all hear at other weddings, in movies and on television shows, but you need to work very hard to reach such a goal. There are many factors that will affect your relationship with your spouse, thus making your fairy tale ending a goal that is difficult to achieve.

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It is perfectly natural to want to bring children into the world after you get married. Kids are incredible, magical gifts that words alone cannot describe. But children can also be a huge drain on a relationship. Being a family means having to balance the needs of each individual. And this can lead to marital issues that can be difficult to resolve.

Perfect Lives

There are far too many people who think that their marriage will be like a fairy tale and that they will lead perfect lives. Unfortunately, life is full of surprises and it will heave things at you that you would never expect. These bumps in the road can be pretty serious if not devastating and it takes a strong marriage to work through such crisis.

Rather than going into a marriage with the expectation that everything will be perfect, you need to accept the fact that marriage is imperfect and rather messy at times.


You meet that someone special, date them, fall in love and then have a wonderful wedding. You expect this union to last forever. But conflict arises when the person you married goes through changes. We all change over the years, that is to be expected. However, if you cannot accept someone because of the way they have changed over the years, then your marriage will suffer. You must learn to adapt to these changes in order for your marriage to survive.


Jealousy is like a horrible disease and once you get it, it can take a long time to get over it. This fear of betrayal will often lead to other problems including distrust and insecurity. If you expect your marriage to be happy and healthy, you must learn how to trust your spouse, trust other people and trust yourself as well.

Financial Crisis

Love is a very powerful emotion, but nobody can live on love alone. You also need to have a job that pays decent money so you can afford rent, food and a cell phone plan so that you can get through life.

It is all too difficult to keep the flame of love burning hot when there are financial problems in the mix. When your spouse uses the rent money to buy a fur coat or set of golf clubs, you quickly forget how much you love them. Financial woes have a way of making people forget the reasons why they married somebody in the first place.

Parenting Issues

The birth of a child is a true joy, just ask anybody who has a kid. Children are wonderful, but they will affect the balance of your marriage. If you and your spouse have a difficult time agreeing on how to raise your child and discipline them, it could leave your marriage in shambles.

No Communication

Great communication is a must if you expect your marriage to be happy, healthy and ever-lasting. A lack of communication could lead to the downfall of your relationship. No matter how in love you are with your spouse, a lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings, arguments and even breakups, separations and divorces.

Shame Baggage

We all carry it and spend much of our adolescent and adult life trying to pretend our doesn’t exist. So when the person you married triggers it, we sometimes blame them for creating it. We then demand that they fix it. The problem is that they didn’t create it and have no idea how to fix it and this leads to trouble.

If you have read this article too late and are now going through a divorce, give Tate Bywater a call.