Staying in an unhealthy marriage is not good for you or your spouse. And if you have kids, it is a decision that should be revisited. If you stay in an unhealthy marriage, you will look back in 20 or 30 years and come to the realization that it was a bad choice. Some marriages are obviously broken beyond repair and no amount of therapy is going to save it.
But rather than just accepting the fact that you are in a failed marriage and move on with your life, some people feel it is in everybody’s best interest to stay in the relationship. Many feel it is best for the kids to force a marriage to work.
But it is not.
As social creatures, relationships are extremely important aspects of our lives. Biology and society tell us that we are fit for long-term loving relationships. When we meet the man or woman of our dreams, we legalize the relationship through marriage and then proceed to have children.
When things don’t go as planned or situations change, there are two ways to go. You can either take the necessary steps to end the relationship or you can make excuses why you need to stay committed. Tate Bywater, your law firm in Vienna, offers bad reasons to stay in a loveless, dysfunctional marriage.
You have spent the last several years posting your life to Facebook and other social media. There are literally hundreds of posts about you and your spouse and all of the fun places you have visited, the fun things you did over the years and the nice things you have done for each other. And while you had some pretty good times together over the years, things have changed for the worse.
You feel it would be embarrassing to end the relationship because so many friends and family think you two are living the dream. So you think it would just be easier to stay in a bad marriage.
There is Too Much Invested in the Marriage
You and your spouse have a lot to show for your marriage including a lovely house, children and an awesome minivan. It was a lot of work getting to this point considering you started out living in a tiny apartment together and had to share your ancient Honda Accord. It seems a shame to throw it all away.
There are studies that found couples do stay together if they feel too much time, effort and money have been spent in their shared lives. But your views of this might be skewed and based on emotions rather than the current situation. In other words, you are in love with your house, minivan and other stuff, but there is no love between you and your spouse.
You are Afraid of the Alternative
You have come to this junction of your life when you can either be in a loveless marriage or a divorcee. Neither of these situations sounds good to you. It is not uncommon for people to look past their bad relationship and tough it out because they don’t want to be single and lonely.
The truth is that you have a much better shot at being happy if you were to end the marriage.
Others Might Be Disappointed
When a marriage is on the rocks, some people think about the wedding guests and the gifts they gave them celebrating their unity. You might tend to feel overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and disappointment. You think it would be a good idea to stay married at the risk of disappointing others.
Going through a divorce might disappoint some friends and family, but you are the one who will be unhappy as long as you are in an unhealthy relationship. Is it worth being a prisoner in a sour marriage? If you are not true to yourself, you are doing a great injustice to those who support and care for you.
If you are in an unhealthy marriage plagued by destructive habits, it will destroy your ability to be happy. You might think that things will change. But if you have given your spouse chance after chance to change and they haven’t, then it is time to move on. You spouse simply isn’t going to wake up one day and be a different person. Holding on for hope with no signs of change will only make you miserable.
Somebody Might Be Hurt
There is a false belief that there has to be a bad guy in a divorce. This has caused countless couples to stick it out even though they are unhappy and unsatisfied. Nobody has to be the bad guy in a divorce.
Don’t make up bad excuses to stay in an unhealthy marriage. Do the right thing and call Tate Bywater today.